


(I'd Die) Without You

by OperationFCC



Series: Tumblr Sheith Prompts and Drabbles [5]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Old Lover AU, SHEITH - Freeform, rating for description of vehicle accident
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-31
Updated: 2017-05-31
Packaged: 2018-11-07 07:51:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11054568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OperationFCC/pseuds/OperationFCC
Summary: Shiro finally understands why Keith has been pushing him away all this time.An old lover, a fatal accident, and the cold fear of losing someone else that he loves.Keith isn't sure he could survive another loss.





	(I'd Die) Without You

**Author's Note:**

> A headcanon written for @bluebutterflyrose on Tumblr, prompted by their Ask: "Keith had a lover that died before he met Shiro so he tries to push him away because he doesn't want him to end up like his old lover. Shiro trying to figure out why Keith is rejecting him and Lance gives him the slip about Keith's old lover that died. Keith exploding at Lance and running to his room in tears. Shiro tries to comfort him and Keith tells him the story about how he lost his lover. Shiro holding him in his arms and promising never to leave him alone."

“I just don’t get it,” Shiro muttered, crouching down to scrub the bottom of the sleeping pod.  Coran had him and Lance on cleaning duty today, and a menial task that didn’t require any mental effort was the last thing he needed.  He desperately wanted to get out of his own head for a little while.

“Don’t get what?” Lance called over his shoulder from across the room.

_ Might as well _ .  If he couldn’t get a distraction, he’d tackle the thoughts instead.  Shiro stood up with a strained sigh and massaged at the back of his neck.  “Keith.  I know he feels the same way about me.  I mean, he’s  _ told _ me.”  He began to pace back and forth, his head turned up toward the ceiling.  “And I don’t want to pressure him, Lance, I really don’t.  I would never.  I just want to understand why he doesn’t… want to be with me.”

He chanced a glance at his friend, feeling embarrassed for saying more than he meant to, but to his surprise, Lance’s expression held some empathy.

“Shiro, look,” Lance started as he crossed the room, standing only a few feet from Shiro and hesitantly meeting his eyes.  “Keith… he has his reasons.  He’s…”

Shiro watched as Lance clenched his jaw and scratched at the back of his head.  Whatever he was going to say wasn’t coming out easy.  “Lance?” Shiro urged gently.

The Blue Paladin breathed in deeply before expelling a long sigh.  “I’m sorry it isn’t working out, Shiro.  You’re my friend, too, and I don’t know if this will give you any peace of mind, but I think it will help you understand.  Keith… He doesn’t want to lose you like he lost Jason.”

Shiro blinked, Lance’s words hitting him square in the chest. Before he had a chance to reflect on what they meant, a voice resounded loudly throughout the chamber.

“How could you?!  Lance, I trusted you!”

The voice belonged to Keith, who stood trembling in the doorway, hands clenched into white-knuckled fists.  Tears gathered at the corner of his eyes as they darted between Shiro and Lance, betrayal a fire inside of them.  Without warning, he whipped around and fled, the echoes of his footsteps fading down the hall. 

“Ah, shit,” Lance muttered, his shoulders slumping.  “You should… probably go talk to him.  He sure as hell won’t be talking to me for awhile.”

Shiro gave him a curt nod, an apologetic look on his face.  His chest feeling unpleasantly tight, he hurried after Keith.  

* * *

 

Sitting on the floor against his bed, Keith heard a quiet knock at the door and pulled his knees tighter against his chest. 

 “Keith?  Can I come in?”  Shiro’s voice was muffled from the other side.  After a few moments of silence, he spoke again, “I… I’m coming, okay?”

When his bedroom door slid open, Keith buried his face in his legs so Shiro couldn’t see how awful he looked.  He swallowed hard as he felt the Black Paladin sit beside him, their arms gently grazing one another.  Shiro was always there for him -- he always would be.  And Keith loved him.  He loved him so damn much.

“I’m so sorry, Keith.  I had no idea.”

The Red Paladin sniffled, lifting his head and letting it rest against Shiro’s shoulder.  When Keith finally spoke, his voice came out thick and broken, “He was.. before I met you.  His name was Jason.  Motorcycle accident.  He… It was so bad, I didn’t even recognize his face.”

Shiro wrapped an arm around Keith’s shoulders and pulled him in close.  The younger man didn’t resist and instead turned his body toward him so he could nestle his head in the crook of Shiro’s neck.  How could something so comforting scare him so much?  The image of Jason on the stretcher, face and body absolutely mangled flashed across his mind.  Keith shuddered, forcing the thought away before he pictured Shiro instead.

“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” Shiro whispered, lightly resting his chin atop Keith’s head.  

However, the younger man went on, the words spilling out of him, “I loved him, Shiro.  And if it’s possible, I think I love you even more, and I can’t… I can’t lose you.  It almost killed me when Jason died, and if you ever... “ Keith’s body shook as a sob escaped him.  “If I lost you, I know it would kill me.”

Keith curled into Shiro as he felt his embrace tighten around him, the older man’s finger stroking gently through his hair.  Even with tears that streamed freely down his face, he began to relax.  Shiro always knew how to set him at ease.

Shiro spoke through a husky whisper, “I’m not going anywhere, Keith.”

“You can’t know that.”

“I promise,” he asserted, his voice quiet but firm.  “Nothing is going to ever stop me from coming to home to you.”

Keith closed his eyes, a rueful smile turning up the corner of his lips.  Shiro sounded so certain, like he truly believed what he was saying.  Keith almost believed it, too.

**Author's Note:**

> Visit me on Tumblr :)
> 
> Username: sword-and-sheith


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